Mystical Girl — Youve got a ticket to the biggest baddest roller-coaster ride and its not even begun to pull out. So sit down, strap in and hang on tight

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in Breathe In Breathe Out,The Starting Point

Breathe in, Breathe Out

by Mystical Girl on April 20, 2010

Breathe In Breathe Out [2:36m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (167)

Okay, maybe that was a bit over-dramatic, but still. I think most of the anger and intense feelings I felt was due to the simple fact Judy didn’t trust me. The whole cafe scene replayed through my head over and over again.

Judy was just terrified I suppose, but how dare she think I would ever do anything to hurt her. Everything was my fault, after all. It always is. I try to bring new shit to the table. I get bored too easily I guess.

When I got home from visiting my mother I decided to have a long hard look at the situation, well sort of. I pretty much got over myself and decided it was time for a cleansing. Hard to tell what all of this negativity would do to my complexion. After all not only am I over dramatic, I also have pimple breakouts when I get pissed off or too much anxiety sets in. It can cause one to pop at anytime.

When you have a pale complexion such as I, you worry. Who wants a bulging blob a bright red in the middle of their forehead. Not I!

I went to the bathroom and knelt down in front of the sink. I opened my pretty maple cabinet and pulled out my basket of goodies. I gathered my candles, various herbs and salts and put the basket back in the cabinet. Turning off all artificial light I knelt before my porcelain tub. Placing a candle at the north, south east and west positions and lit them. I sprinkled my herbs and bath salts in the tub as the hot steamy water began to fill it.

Steam filled the master bath quickly as scents of gardenia and sage filled the air. I climbed inside, careful to not knock anything over as I took my toes and turned off the faucet. Slowly sinking further and further into the tub until the water was up to my neck. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a shadow. I thought for SURE my cat was outside the bathroom door. Just sitting there. The shadow didn’t move. When I called for Zander, he didnt let out a single meow or even move an inch for that matter… odd. Oh well, he was just doing what cats do best. Ignoring me.

I lifted my sponge filled with the magical waters and let it drip down over my head. The sounds the water made was so relaxing. You couldn’t hear a single solitary noise. Nothing but the drip, drip drip from my sponge.

I let my body drift further down under the water until it covered all of my head. The only noise I could hear, was the sound of my own heart-beat.

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Dead silence…

by Mystical Girl on April 22, 2010

in Breathe In Breathe Out II

Dead Silence [0:24m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (144)

Sometimes silence is hard to swallow. You wind up hearing things. Things your normal mind would tell you is just floorboards. Maybe you left the window up somewhere when you hear something being knocked over. Looking outside just to see that the trees haven’t moved at all. Their limbs inanimate, the leaves not doing any more than a gentle dance….

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White vs Black

by Mystical Girl on April 23, 2010

in The Starting Point,White VS Black

Black VS White [7:15m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (171)

Not much happened later on that night, but today..I was sitting at my desk, going through my e-mails and getting stuck on Facebook. I happened to hear rustling sounds in the storage room next to my home office. I continued to do my thing and I noticed it some more. I thought what is that cat into..

Well after I looked around behind me I happened to see Zander sprawled out on the floor… and the noise was continuing.

I got up from my desk and slipped on my flip-flops. Zander gave me a look and went back to his “lazy position” as I went to the next room.

I stood there and did nothing. I heard nothing, then all of the sudden I heard that paper rustling noise again. It was coming from the closet, which by the way, had its doors open.

I flipped on the light and tip-toed in front of the cedar dresser and looked at the closet. I seen nothing move and I heard no noises. I seen NOTHING coming OUT of the closet. I thought OK its smarter than I gave it credit for and banged on the dresser a few times. Still nothing, so I threw an angel figuring made of resin, at the closet.

Still nothing.

I came out of the storage room and Zander was sitting up-right with ears perk and eyes big. Usually the green in his eyes was all you could see, but apparently HE seen something *I* had not. I did not take my eyes off that closet I tell you. Not EVEN when I picked up the figurine. I didn’t care what I’d picked up to toss. I just wanted to see the fucker that had eluded me all this time.

Big bad black Zander seen something though, course not that he has a taste for mice anyways. I’ve had this annoying problem for a while now and he would just as soon eat an old dead fish any day of the week as opposed to showing off his cat-like hunting skills, which I’ve yet to see. The only thing I have seen Zander do, is watch “intently” . He may spy a bird while he sunbathes in the window, but will sit and just watch. He sits unflinching for as long as the bird allows him.

Why do I have a black cat you may wonder? Aren’t they bad luck? Au contraire! Here’s a little story about why I have a black cat and some various other random shit.

As a child, my parents got me a cat. She was a white cat with long fluffy white fur. I was pretty young and there are only 2 things I remember about that cat named Snowball. I remember her soft white tail and a cast that she had on her leg. Apparently I had that cat for about 4 years. They got her when I was an infant and she died at the hands a veterinarian.

Snowball had fallen off our basement windowsill and had broken her leg and when it did not heal properly my dad had her put down. Now, not long after that, my grandmother found me a cat. She was so excited. She worked as a cook at this home-style restaurant and apparently the cat was well fed. Grammie always kept EVERY one well fed. Was a good thing.

I remember being on my bike riding up and down 0ur drive-way when she pulled in. She got out of the car and gave me a hug and proceeded to the trunk where she held her captive. She told me there was a big black cat in her trunk and I was sooo excited. When she unlocked the trunk and lifted the lid, ever so carefully, that big black cat leaped out of the trunk and ran like a bat outta hell. NEVER to be seen again!

I was upset kind of, but I got over it quickly, but in the back of my mind I always wanted a black cat. I guess because I couldn’t have THAT black cat, one day I would have a different one. You know how it is when you can’t have something, you always want it.

I always refused to believe that too. There was no “can’t have” in my vocabulary.

If I wanted something – I would have it.

Between hysterical bawling fits as a child to throwing myself on the floor of a department store. I ALWAYS got what I wanted. As I got older, I found those tactics don’t work so well. Especially when you’re about fourteen years old. How ridiculous would a fourteen year old look throwing themselves on the floor in the middle of a record store?

Have you ever seen it? Witnessed it? I think not! My god that would be sheer humiliation and worthy of a wrist cutting if their school-mates seen them. Seriously in this age of technology all one kid had to do was put it on their mobile phone, FWD it to a few people and by midnight that night, the whole school would have seen it.

Back in my day, a kid got what they wanted with that kind of behavior. What mother wanted to be mortified in front a sales clerk? Yep, you got your way, course you may got your ass beat red later on, but it was worth it.

As I got older I had to find ways of getting what I wanted. I went to a private CHRISTIAN school in my high-school years. Of course there are always a few outcasts in every crowd. When you’re in a CHRISTIAN school you’re either a bible thumper, or you are a Satanist.

I chose to go with the outcast crowd. Now we weren’t bad per-say, we just liked doing things different. We did not slaughter any goats or any animal for that matter. I’m talking about wanting and DOING things that most normal kids do. You know, like drinking and hiding out somewhere smoking cigarettes. Maybe reading books that had sex scenes in them. You know, normal stuff.

This school would have us do reports and they always had to be in-depth and I had to do one about Rock Music and how it was Satanic. I remember my mom driving me to a Christian Bookstore to pick up books on the subject. I read them and became fascinated with the whole thing.

I can’t recall the titles of the books anymore, but probably would know them if I seen them. They covered every artist back then. It was crazy! I knew these rock groups. I’ve heard about a few of the songs, but the information they had in those books was just unreal. So much research and time went into them. They analyzed everything.

After doing my report on it, the fascination still lingered. Now, I realize that the school wanted us to see the Gospel in this and to identify with these things we were learning. To realize they were bad for us and would send us straight into Satan’s arms with NO chance of being saved, ever! Well, it had the opposite effect on me. It made me WANT to listen to those songs, made me WANT to seek out some classic Twisted Sister.

You know a person REALLY has to listen to those songs to get IT. You can’t just write it in a book and say it does this or actually means that when you don’t know what the fuck the songs about in the first place or never heard it.

Yea sayeth thee, that is where the school went wrong for this chickie and so a whole new chapter emerges from the deep dark depths of my childhood.

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Little Red Devil…

by Mystical Girl on April 26, 2010

in Little Red Devil,The Starting Point

Little Red Devil [1:51m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (78)

Now, despite the obvious, I didn’t go buy myself every single CD I had read about. It was more than that. I had already heard alot of the “accused” songs. I wanted to find out the power behind them and how one might actually tap into that power.

As an impressionable teen I was all for finding power. Mysterious power. Power that could manipulate someone. Power that could cause my enemies the pain they so deserved. It seemed to me that Almighty Satan held that power and damn-it me and him needed to talk. Yea as though it is that simple. I was afraid.

I also read that Satan fed on people’s fears. The more you fear him the more he can overcome you and possess you and control you. I didn’t mind if he controlled me though. Having power in exchange of my soul was a small price to pay if it meant that I could manipulate people to do what *I* wanted. Who took the time to think ahead about what MIGHT happen? Not me, I was ready to dive right in.

When I look back now, I’ve always had a fascination about this sort of thing since I was five years old. Whenever our family moved into our new home, I remember seeing the devil. He was small, as tall as me and seemed very friendly.

HE was all decked out in the same little red devil costume that I had worn during Halloween that year. He however did not wear a mask. Thinking about his face kind of makes me cringe now, but back then, he didn’t scare me.

That moment in time marked me, for the rest of my life.

Even thinking about it now, I do not recall any moment in time, ever lasting quite that long or having that much of an impact, as that very moment.

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Mondays…

by Mystical Girl on April 27, 2010

in Mondays,The Starting Point

Mondays [3:24m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (108)

Mondays suck don’t you think? You get up, your weekend is gone and you can’t get it back. I guess I got a little carried away by my last entry. I actually did finish my relaxing bath and I didn’t happen to notice anymore shadows. It’s almost as though reminiscing about my childhood made things a little bit better. Took off some of the anxiety I had felt earlier on that day.

Today was pretty much same old same old for me. I have a whole load of candles sitting here just itching to be lit. I know what will happen though if I light them. That fear that I felt as a young teenager never really left me. There’s things I’ve done over the years that ensure the fear always will remain.

You don’t just play with fire and not expect to get burned. It’s how you come to realize what you’ve done – and if you intend to make any changes or just burying yourself deeper. Of course girls like me always tend to bury themselves deeper. Always seeking the rush, through our deepest fears.

I don’t know about you, but I am an action kind of girl. I need to see things to know it’s really happening. Books will teach you how to “visualize”. Visualize is a play on words, when working with witchcraft.

Basically you use your imagination. You try to go back to when you were a child and your imagination could run free and you could see things or have imaginary friends. No one else could see, but as a child, you seen them, even if no one else could. Trying to do that when you are an adult is very difficult to maneuver.

I don’t buy it if it’s not right there in front of me and I made a deal with deity back in the day and it stuck with me through the years. I’ve always been able to see things and those things are not anything I’ve had to imagine. I’ve seen things that will rip your heart out, chew it up and swallow it for a light snack. These aren’t fictional monsters or characters out of a novel. They’re real and they’re very alive. Just lurking and waiting to be unleashed.

Over the years I’ve let my practices in witchcraft slide and just when I need a gentle reminder of the pact I made (my gift I got in exchange for following the path – my initiation, my rather life stirring initiation.. just me, some paper with words written in ancient alphabet scattered to the winds. Simple enough for this here post, for now.)

Well, maybe not …. You see this wasn’t your typical scenario. This was some grand fucked up shit that took place. Not everyone that comes to witchcraft ever experiences the same things.

Sometimes some people are more perceptive than others. What might not happen for one could yield a great deal more than they bargained for, for another. I mean how many of your friends do you know, claim to have seen the devil as a child? It’s not an everyday occurrence.

To sum up this entry today; Don’t expect to light a spell, conjure up a God, make demands and then go to bed with a bowl of ice cream and wake up the next day with no repercussions.

It feels like I am running in circles getting my story out there to everyone. I just have so much to say and explain. This effects so many people.

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Mondays Part II

by Mystical Girl on April 27, 2010

in Mondays Part II,The Starting Point

When I got out of bed this morning I felt something tugging at me. This sense of sadness was overwhelming to the point I could not deny it. As my day went along I kept thinking more and more about Judy and our conversation.

I tried to focus on work and it seemed the more I did the more distracted I became.

I don’t believe I’ve mentioned it yet, but I work from my home office. I seek out and buy antiques that clients are trying to find. They find me via my website and I start making the connections. I often times get to travel as there are many instances where I have to acquire these possessions for my clients. It is a very lucrative business for me and allows me to see many areas of the country I probably wouldn’t have been to, if I’d have chosen another occupation.

I finally decided to make the first move and call Judy. I hadn’t spoken to her since our conversation at the Cafe the Sunday before. When Judy answered the phone she seemed calm cool and collected. A much different version of Judy from the other day. I felt better as I hung up the phone after speaking to her for about ten minutes. That feeling of sadness however still remained.

I decided to go visit Judy later on that day and I called her back to see if she would be home. We made dinner plans and she was excited that she would get to cook for me. Judy was a fabulous cook and I was actually looking forward to it, considering how much she had angered me on Sunday.

Finishing up with work in the office I went down to my kitchen to grab a glass of white wine. I noticed there was mail strewn on the floor from where the post-man had dropped it through the slot. Gathering up the pile of mail I noticed an invitation sized envelope that had no return address on it.

I went into my kitchen and sat down on my barstool at the kitchen counter. I stacked the pile of mail and placed it in front of me. Picking up the invitation that I had neatly positioned on top of the stack, I ran my fingers over the edges of it. I took a deep breath and opened it up slowly. As I did I noticed the sad feeling that haunted me, began sinking in deeper and deeper.

Words written in silver on beautiful taupe stationary. This was something I knew I would one day see and have dreaded it for years. The man that I loved was getting married to someone else. I had just three months to adjust. On the other hand as a sly grin came to my lips – I had three months to foil their union. Soon that feeling of sadness was replaced with an edgy competitive feeling. It was time to make my move.

I had been obsessed for years with him, but it was obvious I had gotten over him or he would not have ever sent me an invitation to his fucking wedding.

I made it appear to be obvious of course. Who wants their heart torn to shreds over and over again? Not me. I kept my distance and decided to never look back. I always kept him in the back of my mind and just chose not to deal with it and move on. However a woman scorned.. well you know the saying. I was still scorned and I was never the type to “wish you well”, so why not cause a little chaos. What the hell. You only live once.

On a side note – why the fuck would he send an invitation without no return fucking address! I’m not an idiot folks. He wanted to do one of two things. 1. rub it in or 2. make me find him. The bitch he’s marrying probably did not have a clue who I was on the list or was I even on a list? The mans’ evil I’ll give him that much, but I’m just a little more evil, unfortunately for him, he does not know that.

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A Full Moon

by Mystical Girl on April 28, 2010

in A Full Moon,The Starting Point

After I tore through the rest of my mail, I gathered up the invitation and held it in my hands. It was neatly written by him. I shook my head and let my body shiver as I went to the trashcan to toss it in. It was far too much of a temptation to hang on to his handwritten invitation.

I went back over to the counter and picked up my half finished glass of wine and drank the rest down quickly. I looked at the open bottle and despite my feelings of momentary desperation, I put it back in the refrigerator and headed upstairs to get a shower.

I got dressed and headed out the door. As I stood on my front porch I gazed up into the clear nights sky. The town was nearly lit up as the moon shone down upon it. The moon was full tonight. I just stood and stared in awe at the sheer beauty of it. I could feel a chill up my spine as I fumbled for my car keys inside my purse. Turned and locked the deadbolt and left for the evening to head over to Judy’s for dinner

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Dinner at Judy’s

by Mystical Girl on May 2, 2010

in Dinner At Judys,The Starting Point

When I arrived at Judy’s for dinner I could smell the aroma of something Italian. Judy made the best Tordelli. When she opened the front door I seen she was exceptionally dressed for just a casual dinner between friends. She had a stunning maroon colored dress on and I felt a little under-dressed in my blue jeans and black sweater.

“Wow Judy what’s the occasion?” I had asked her.

“Well I have a little surprise for you, there’s someone I wanted to introduce to you.” she replied. She could tell by the way I wrinkled up my forehead, that I wasn’t too pleased by the sound of this. “Oooh loosen up a little bit. You spend way too much time alone. You, your cat and those mice!” She said as she leaned towards me and whispered in my ear. “Plus, he’s really hot.”

“How’d you ever meet him? Not like you’re socialite of the freaking year Judy.” I hissed at her.

“Oh you’d never believe this, but he came knocking on my door looking for you right after you’d called me this afternoon.” she told me as she ran her fingers thru her hair.

I shot her a confused look “What do you mean he came looking for me? Who the fuck is it?”

“His name is Jordan.” she said, her eyes followed me as I stepped past her. She quickly shut the door.

I walked through Judy’s foyer and stood outside the archway that opened up into her dining room and seen a man standing in front of the window looking out. He had dark hair and a nice body from what I could tell.

“This could get interesting” I thought to myself. He turned his head in my direction and looked at me and my heart began to race. It was as though he was looking behind my eyes and watching my thoughts play out on some movie screen as he grinned a very mischievous grin.

“Well hello Jordan, you seem to be cropping up everywhere.” I said to him as I entered the dining-room. “Only thing that’s running through my mind right now though is; who are you and why are you crossing my path so much?”

“Nice to finally meet the elusive Ms Christine.” Jordan said as he turned around and put his hands on the back of the dining room chair that sat in front of him.

“Finally? Sounds like you’ve been searching, no?”

“Actually I’ve been searching for you for a long, long time.” He said as his crooked smile grew wider. His piercing blue eyes and that smile god what a hot one.

“You know you’re much less frightening than I anticipated”, I told him as I stood opposite him across the table.

“Less frightening?” He inquired as he cocked his head to the side.

“Oh, never mind” I caught myself as I realized I was speaking of something that hadn’t ACTUALLY happened. Was about my dream. How the hell would he know about any of that. Silly me.

“You shouldn’t anticipate anything whenever it comes to me. I’m very unpredictable”. In a flash he was at my side as I backed up to let him pull out my chair. “Madam?” he gestured as I felt the blood racing to my face. I sat and he pushed my chair in and made his way to the seat next to mine.

Thankfully Judy had a huge table big enough for 12 guests and only 4 chairs in place. I really didn’t need to sit too closely to this mysterious and handsome man. Mysterious and handsome ALWAYS spells disaster for ANY woman.

“I’m glad to hear that the two of you are having a conversation. I tried to not listen but I couldn’t help but notice it sounds like the two of you know each other a little bit.” Judy said as she gracefully put the china dish filled with Tordelli on the table.

“So Judy, do you always make it a habit of inviting strangers into your home?” I asked her as I lifted my wine glass in Jordan’s direction who so graciously filled it up. She ignored my sarcasm as usual.

I put the glass to my lips as I watched him fill Judy’s and then his own. I sipped on the wine as he began to speak. I’m not really sure what he was talking about. I couldn’t take my eyes off this man though. Was though he had cast a spell on me. He was a gorgeous man and his eyes were like beautiful sapphire’s. His flawless complexion and teeth so white. His high cheekbones and defined jaw-line.

The room was dimly lit anyways and the candles shot flickering shadows all over the room, was quite a sight to see actually with the various crystal pieces she had sitting around the room.

Jordan raised his wine glass and said “Here’s a toast to a lovely meal and an even lovelier hostess” as he grinned at Judy giving her a flirty wink.

All through the night we talked about one another. We laughed and polished off not only the meal she made, but about four bottles of wine.

Jordan was so interesting to listen to. His voice was like velvet and of course his animated looks, well you just couldn’t help but be enticed by his charms. Funnily enough this man was nothing like the man I knew in my dreams or the one I had seen on the street just a few days ago.

“So Judy, how did you come to meet this,” I asked her, trying to figure it all out as she had ignored my inquiry earlier.

I made a hand gesture as I looked in his direction “this Jordan fella?” When we made eye contact I could feel my face begin to blush. I had realized my nose wrinkled up and my smile was big that I could feel my cheeks start to ache. Too much wine no doubt, but I didn’t care and just stared back at this handsome God sitting so close, yet so far away.

“Strangest thing, he was standing on my porch when I arrived home from the shop today.” Judy said as she glanced out of the corner of her eyes, at Jordan.

I looked back at Judy and asked her, “What possessed you to let this man into your house?”, as I raised my empty glass of wine. I could feel the wine being poured into my glass as I turned my head to glance at this handsome figure leaning in my direction. Jordan filled my glass to the point it nearly over-flowed in my less than steady hand.

” You know,” she said as a look of confusion over-took her face. “I really don’t know. It just seemed like the thing to do at the time.”

Jordan leaned back and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pants pocket. His hand slowly hit the bottom of the unopened pack of cigarettes as he tore off the cellophane and removed the foil on one side. He pulled out one and lifted it to his lips as they curled into a smile. “Can I smoke?” He said as he smiled at Judy and I.

“Yeah sure” Judy said as she glanced at me. We exchanged looks with one another. Finally on the same wave-length I could tell. What had Judy gotten us into?

“Well I have this way about me Christine.” Jordan said. As he exhaled the smoke billowed around his head like a halo. “Judy couldn’t resist my charms.”

“Really? That’s pretty cocky don’t you think?” , I said as I pushed my long hair away from my neck, working my pendant down the silver chain that had gotten its self stuck at the hook.

“I have that right I suppose. When you’ve been around the block as many times as I have, you learn a few tricks along the way.” Jordan said as he drank his wine, staring at me.

His stares made me feel flushed and more than uncomfortable. Aroused almost. God what was this man wearing, the cologne. Has to be the cologne. I never let a pair of blue eyes get to me like this. Wake up Christine!

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in The Starting Point,Wake Up Christine!

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Wake Up Christine!

by Mystical Girl on May 6, 2010

“Wake up Christine!!” Judy said. I must have passed out at some point the night before. I woke up in Judy’s guest bedroom. Sweater still on? Check. Jeans still on? Check.

“Okay Jude, what happened here last night?” I asked her as I sat up on the bed. Inching my way back towards the headboard, I pulled the blankets up around me.

“Honestly Chris, I don’t know.” One minute you and I are sitting at the dinner table finishing up a bottle of wine and the next minute the suns shining through my bedroom window.

Judy went over and pulled back the bedroom curtains and flipped on the television. She came over to the bed and sat down next to me then put her hand in her pajama pants’ pocket and pulled out a necklace and handed it to me. “Here Chris, I found this in the bathroom on the floor by the shower.”

I took it in my hand and looked at it and it was mine. After I ran my fingers over the smooth silver chain and unhooked the clasp, I draped it around my neck. “Odd.” I said to her and shrugged my shoulders.

“So, what’s for breakfast?” I asked her as I turned my hips in the bed and planted my feet to the floor. “I am starving! It’s as though I ain’t ate for a week!”

I slipped on my shoes and tripped on the rug by the bed. Composing myself I ran my fingers through my hair and made my way to the guest bathroom. I heard Judy going down the steps. I grabbed my cell phone out of my jeans’ pocket and flipped it open. There was one voice message and one missed call from a number I didn’t recognize.

I dialed voicemail and this smooth voice on the recording said “I hope you enjoyed last night as much as I did.” there was a slight pause, “I’ll see you tonight at six pm by the bank in town. Don’t keep me waiting beautiful.” I could feel my jaw drop as I removed the phone from my ear.

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